qusetions unanswered

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Coming from a break-up, I usually fall asleep in wee hours of night. I expected sleepless nights of just crying and moping and stuff. They said it would get less painful as time pass by, but i’m not your usual “normal” broken up guy. As sleep evades me, I might as well write the questions that haunts me. Did i do something wrong? Was it my fault? Was any of it real? If it was, when did it start becoming a lie? 

Sometimes it’s just so hard to get by, waking from memories or smelling her old perfume or listening to conversations about her and how well and happy she with him and stuff. Some say that the pain I feel is self made, that i should have already moved on. But honestly, how can one move on when the person whom he built his future on suddenly disappear? After giving everything, how?! I don’t indulge myself much in self pity but sometimes I just wanna cry and blame people or just be angry. I mean why me? So many people take love for granted, so many people who deserves to be hurt by love, why ME?! Why me who gave almost all I had just to make her happy? Why me who constantly adjust just to accommodate her? Why me who never took love for granted? Who cared for her when she was sick? Who was there when she needed me? It may sound selfish or whatever but dammit why me?! Am i not enough? Have i not given enough? Was i ever enough? Will i be ever enough for someone?

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~ by lordouch on July 30, 2012.

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